Mary Matacio Beyer

Born: 9/29/1924 - Deceased: 9/21/2021

A Daughter's Eulogy

Mom didn't mind turning 90. She felt proud, as though she accomplished an important and seemingly unattainable goal. It wasn't easy. She had a number of health conditions; but, she was proud and very grateful to God that loss of mental acuity was not one of them! Whenever we saw a new health provider, she smiled shyly (and slyly) when I would say to the healthcare provider "Don't let her gray hair fool you!". She had a great team of medical professionals, among them 4 cardiologists - two of whom aged out of the practice of medicine, one who was too arrogant for mom's preference and the 4th was just continually amazed at mom's mental agility, making no changes in the treatment plan established by his predecessors some 35 years prior. At each birthday after her 90th, she marveled that she was celebrating another one. Last week, I felt she was keeping herself "in the game" by looking forward to her next milestone - her 97th birthday. But it was not to be; she found peace from pain and suffering when the Lord called her home on September 21, 2021, just 8 days short of her 97th birthday.

Mom was born on September 29, 1924, in West Allis, on her little family's kitchen table, to her loving parents Vincenzo (a/k/a Charles) and Sarah (nee Merlo) Matacio. She joined her big brother, Paul, just two years older than she, to make a family of four. Mom loved her brother and sister-in-law Maxine and was heartbroken when they, and their daughter, Lauren, pre-predeceased her.

Those of us missing mom, today and always, include my brother, Mark Beyer and his wife Gail. Also surviving mom are her grandsons Jason (Beth) Beyer and Adam (Meggan) Beyer. Mom also has 4 great-grandsons, Dillon Beyer (Rachel), Christian Beyer, Lincoln Beyer and Seatyn Beyer. This year, her great-great grandson, Leland James Beyer, came into the world. She will also be missed by her nephews Douglas (Verla) Matacio and their sons Corey and Trevor, and Timothy Matacio and his daughter, Darcy and her great niece, Jaime Berlin. She is further survived by other friends and relatives too. And of course, by me, Jannine Beyer, her daughter.

She was my mom, so I am probably a little biased; but mom's life was an unusual one for a woman born when she was. Like the vast majority of people born then, the Great Depression influenced her attitudes about many facets of life, but when she spoke about her years growing to adulthood, she remarked often about the joy and the love of close family ties with all her aunts, uncles and many, many first cousins - the Ruscitti's, the Sandolino's, the Azzolina's, the Cincotta's, the Cefalu's, the Lupo's. Many of these aunts, uncles and cousins lived within a block or two of mom's immediate family, as did mom's maternal grandmother, Lucia Merlo/Sandolino (nee Azzolina) and her paternal grandmother, Mary Matacio, after whom mom was named. No one's life was easy then; but, she was surrounded by immediate, as well as extended, family love daily. And mom loved her church family too. She and her first cousin, Jo Carlson (nee Ruscitti), were baptized together in the Seventh Day Adventist faith when she was 15.

After Jefferson Street Elementary School in West Allis, she went on to Horace Mann Junior High School and West Allis Central High School, where her favorite class was "Home Economics". She didn't much care for the "sewing" portion, but she LOVED the cooking portion of that class! True to her Sicilian heritage, she came by her love of cooking (and opera!) naturally, and was extraordinarily talented at both! After high school, she attended Emmanuel Missionary College (later named Andrews University) for one year, majoring in "Dietetics", which today would be "Nutrition Science". To get me to try blueberries, she explained the importance of anthocyanins to good health. It seems blueberries were chocked full of them, and it worked...I tried them and loved them! As a matter of fact, she did that with almost every fruit and vegetable we ate - bananas for potassium, oranges and grapefruit for vitamin C, etc... She had a way of enticing us that way with those foods, making it seem like they were a gastronomical treasure and the only key to unlocking their special goodness was to eat them! She loved, loved, loved chocolate and was delighted when the PBS gurus of healthy eating extolled the virtues of dark chocolate! (I think she knew it all the time!)

When the lack of finances prohibited furthering her college career beyond one year, she returned home to Milwaukee and started working at Allen Bradley. She also started honing her already exceptionally beautiful mezzo soprano voice by taking voice lessons at the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music. She performed in productions and concerts at various events around Milwaukee and with the Chicago Civic Opera. Finally, her voice coach told her he could do nothing more for her; she needed the kind of advanced coaching available only in New York. So, with her parents approval and encouragement, off she went to New York, a young and talented woman in her early-mid twenties. She lived at the YWCA (Young Women's Christian Association) and got a job in the kitchen at the Howard Johnson restaurant. She also began receiving voice coaching by a prominent voice coach to professional vocalists of the day. She made friends with a woman, Nellie Fox, who was the executive assistant to THE 'Howard Johnson'. Eventually, mom rented a room in Nellie's own home. Her home had a piano and Nellie was a widow with a young son. She rented her spare room to aspiring young classical musicians/vocalists so that her son would be exposed to the classical music she herself loved.

Mom loved her life in New York!

When her cousin Jo Ruscitti got married, mom was in her wedding. During the time mom returned home for the wedding, mom met the man who would become my father. They met on the telephone...it seems they shared the same "two-party phone line" back in the day. It was the beginning of their romance and ultimately mom returned to Milwaukee to marry my father. Although their marriage didn't work out, mom continued to focus on raising my brother and me, loving us unconditionally, in good times and difficult ones - often working two or three jobs at a time as a cook to support us all. It isn't easy today being a single mother and it wasn't easy in the 1960s either. Mom cooked in a variety of environments, including owning her own restaurant for a short time in South Milwaukee. Her cooking career ended when she retired at age 66 as the lead cook in the executive dining room on the 40th floor of the First Wisconsin Bank building (US Bank today). She made wonderful friends there including her good friends, Judy Brunner and Peggy Grede. Judy visited her often at the assisted living facility right up until her death. Mom so enjoyed Judy's visits!

The first thing mom did when she retired was to take a 17-day trip to Italy and Sicily with my then-husband and me. We all had a grand time! Mom especially loved the Amalfi Coast, but also Florence, Positano, Capri, the open fruit and vegetable markets, the history, the art and of course, Sicily! Since she spoke fluent Italian (with a Sicilian dialect), we were never at a disadvantage when it came to communication. Good thing, too, as she and I went on a little shopping excursion one day in Rome and were unable to tell the cab driver where our hotel was! Thankfully, he figured it out with the help of fellow cabbies, but needless to say, our group was concerned when we returned WAY, WAY after dark! Sicily was a magical place for us! In Sicily, she spoke with cousins on her mother's side. Not only did all the people look like our relatives, but they were all just as warm and welcoming as if they really were!

Mom enjoyed all 30 years of her retirement; spending time with family, especially being able to enjoy the time spent with her young grandsons, travel with her friends and cousins, and an 80th birthday party that she talked about until she died. She enjoyed her independence but reluctantly moved out of her own home and into a cozy apartment in an assisted living facility in West Allis. Sometimes life really does come full circle! When COVID came to the world, mom adapted but it was difficult for her and for all of us who loved her to not be able to see her for over a year, except for a few visits outdoors last summer. But, we talked by phone multiple times every day and Mark and I brought her home cooked meals often. We were grateful she did not contract the virus. Mark and I were able to be with her there to the very end.

We are also grateful to the staff at Library Square and to the caregivers from Stowell Associates for all that they did to make mom's last few months as comfortable as possible. In the end, she succumbed to the complications of her advanced age.

We will miss her greatly, and we will hold her love in our hearts forever.

We wish to thank the Hartson Funeral Home for their professional and compassionate services. In light of the complications of the COVID pandemic, a private visitation and service for the immediate family was held on September 28, 2021, with entombment at Forest Home Cemetery. Additional pictures can be found on the following website: www.HartsonFuneralHome.com

Memorials in lieu of flowers can be made to the Northwest Seventh Day Adventist Church or the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music on Prospect Avenue, both located in Milwaukee.